Not a creature was stirring, because all the spoons were in the dishwasher.
The stockings still hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that the delivery guy would finally show up.
The children all nestled all snug in their beds.
While visions of Charli D’Amelio danced in their heads.
Mamma in her PJs, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap that would ideally last until January 26 or thereabouts.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see if the zombie apocalypse was finally upon us.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters, threw up the sash, pried the plywood loose and deactivated the radiation shield.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave a lustre of fallout to objects below.
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.
With a little old driver so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment he must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
"Now, Pfizer! Now, Fosun! Now GlaxoSmithKline!
On, Johnson & Johnson! On, Moderna and Stein!
From Ulaanbaatar to Minny-St. Paul,
Now Vaxx away! Vaxx away! Vaxx away all!"
So up to the housetop the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of drugs, and St. Nicholas too.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
A portable freezer he had flung on his back,
Kind of like a Ghostbuster, but wearing a hat.
His eyes — how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Along with the expertise and approval of the heroes in our medical community, not to mention some of the most extensive clinical trials in history,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, rising over the trees,
“Merry Christmas to all, go get vaccinated ASAP!”