How much wetness and/or wildness does $25 million get you? That’s the amount Oklahoma-based Premier Parks spent on upgrading the former Wild Water Kingdom in Brampton.

The answer: A lot. In addition to renaming and revamping its three blackout rides and two high-speed slides — both of which deliver seven-storey drops — the recently reopened and renamed Wet ‘N’ Wild Toronto has added a host of new pools and rides.

The towering “Bear Footin' Bay” play structure, for instance, is festooned with sprayers, slides and a giant tipping bucket. My daughters were nimble enough to avoid being soaked by the latter, and could not have been happier when my own nimbleness fell short. However, their gleeful mockery would only sweeten my inevitable revenge.

This watery intro also primed us for "Hurricane" and "Typhoon," a pair of tandem-tube slides that quickened our pulses and whetted our appetites for two of the main attractions: "Krazy Kanuck" and "Caribbean Chaos," which rise together over the former site of a mini-golf course.

Krazy Kanuck was relatively tame, taking as many as five inner-tube riders down back-to-back curves, drops and vortex loops. We tried it a few times, and soon determined that whizzing down backwards increased the fear factor substantially.

Once the girls had built up their nerve, we took the other staircase up to Caribbean Chaos. This slide builds anticipation with an enormous scream-reflecting wall that looms over the entrance to the waterpark. It proved to be just as thrilling as it looked, especially for my daughters who, at my subtle request, were sent down backwards by the ride attendant. As we rocketed up the watery wall and felt gravity loosen its grip, their wide eyes and delighted screams made me grin triumphantly. Revenge was sweet indeed!

A few of the new attractions were still under construction during our visit: Oh Canada!, a free-fall slide with a 360-degree loop; and Klondike Express, side-by-side racing tunnels that loop and drop. The new Wet 'n' Wild Jr. play area, meanwhile, was shunned as being “for babies,” although I did like the look of the shady deck chairs. Thankfully, dozens more were arrayed around the half-million-gallon "Big Surf" wave pool, which is surrounded by the "Muskoka Soakah" lazy river. 

​For GTA-based families who want to combine watery refreshment with watery excitement, Wet ‘N’ Wild fits the bill nicely as the only good-sized standalone waterpark in the area. Just remember to beware the bucket!

WHERE TO STAY
The new Courtyard Toronto Mississauga/West is less than 15 minutes by car from Wet 'N' Wild, and features a full-service restaurant and lounge where you can refuel post-waterpark.

Travel elicits many emotions, from awe to anger and from upgrade ecstasy to gift-shop remorse. But over the course of my Canadian wanderings, there’s something more: Pride. That's what this 30-part series is all about: Sharing my proud perspective on the 30 places and experiences that make my country the greatest on Earth. Some of my daily selections are world-famous, others are little-known, and a few are acquired tastes. My first one, however, begins with a plea:
 
Please, Mother Nature, lay off the Toronto Islands for a while, OK?
 
Some of the best features of the city's best feature are struggling. With recent flooding restricting ferry access, the Island Cafe has laid off staff. Even worse, the nearby Rectory Cafe has revealed that it is shutting down after this season owing to financial trouble brought about by the rising waters.
 
The good news: There’s nothing stopping you from enjoying a pitcher of sangria on the Island Cafe’s airy patio, or a Wellington County striploin on the Rectory’s leafy terrace. While ferries to Centre Island and Hanlan’s Point have suspended operations until at least June 30, the Ward’s Island ferry is still running. Service is limited to “residents and their guests, staff, and emergency personnel,” according to the City of Toronto, but this is easily circumvented in three ways: One, take a water taxi. Two, simply tell ferry staff that you are dining at either spot and you will be allowed to board. Three, paddle over yourself, as I did just last week. As you can see from the top photo, the flooding is striking and worth checking out. Does it hinder the dining experience? Not at all.
 
Supporting these wonderful eateries in tough times is far from the only reason to explore the Islands. Let me ask you this: How far from downtown Toronto is the bucolic waterway pictured above? Two hours by car (or five on a summer Friday)? Fifty minutes by float plane? Believe it or not, this verdant, mellow spot on Ward’s is less than 20 minutes by ferry from the foot of Bay Street.
 
I’ve learned a lot about the quirky archipelago since I first visited more than 20 years ago. Did you know, for instance, that Babe Ruth hit his first professional home run out of Hanlan's Point Stadium in 1914? But my Island education hasn’t been limited to T.O. trivia. Here are six key lessons I’ve learned:
 
They are Hogtown's hidden gem
It amazes me how many Torontonians say they have never visited the Islands, or have only ever checked out the fun and kitschy Centreville Amusement Park or the clothing-optional Hanlan's Point Beach. After all, there’s so much more to the place than bumper-boats and CN Tower-themed thongs. With leafy pedestrian laneways and adorably rustic homes, Ward’s and Algonquin islands are like little slices of Ontario cottage country — but with some striking differences…
 
Downtown shines from the lake
The northern shores offer unparalleled, unobstructed views of the Toronto skyline. On warm evenings my family often carries a cooler to one of the picnic tables lining Algonquin’s leafy shore to revel in the surreal proximity of the concrete, glass and steel jungle. From the Gardiner Expressway it can seem dystopian. From the islands, it looks like Emerald City.
 
Deluxe digs on the doorstep
B&Bs and cottage rentals are the only overnight options on the Islands. But with the Westin Harbour Castle practically on top of the mainland ferry dock, all the comforts and amenities of a luxury hotel — including perks such as free Wi-Fi for Marriott Rewards members — are just a ferry ride, water-taxi fare or canoe rental away.
 
No cars, no stress
Being almost entirely free of motorized vehicles, the Islands are bicycle-centric and perfect for young kids like mine. Every time I climb in the car to drive home from the mainland ferry dock, I am reminded of how nice it is to eschew internal combustion engines for even a few hours.
 
Free (disc) golf!
Ward’s is home to one of the world’s premier disc golf courses, a 6,925-foot, 18-basket stretch of bucolic parkland. It hosted the Professional Disc Golf Association’s World Championships back in 1986 — six years after the course was established — and each July hosts the pro-am Toronto Island Open. Let’s hope waters subside enough for the event to take place this year.
 
Ward's Beach rules
The clean, compact and uncrowded stretch of sand on the south side of Ward's is arguably the city's finest, especially for families. The ferry dock is a five-minute walk away, lifeguards abound, toilets are mere steps away, and you gaze out onto nothing but Lake Ontario, the parkland of the adjacent Leslie Spit, and boats that are either passing or anchored in the small bay. Again, fingers crossed that full beach operations resume soon.

“Daddy, can we stay here for the rest of March Break?”

This question from my seven-year-old confirmed it: Kicking off the annual scholastic interlude with a sleepover at the Hilton Garden Inn Toronto Airport West Mississauga — that’s right, it’s in all four places at once! — was a strong, if unorthodox, move.

Over March Break, families frequently end up at airport hotels because their flights to beaches or ski hills have been delayed by the foul weather they’re desperate to escape. That’s not irony, even in an Alanis Morissette sense, but it’s definitely a kick in the seasonally inappropriate board shorts. Trust me, I’ve been there and done that.

Now don’t get me wrong: I would like nothing more than to be in Punta Cana or Park City right now. But I simply can’t abide (or afford) the ridiculous March Break price markups. So to any family in the same metaphorical boat, I say: Eschew expensive faraway getaways and try a quasi-staycation.

I say “quasi” because, technically, a staycation involves staying in your own home. But this fails to take advantage of the Top 5 Hotel Amenities Every Kid Loves:

1. A pool and hot tub.
2. Two queen beds side-by-each. My kids jumped from one to the other approximately 93,000 times. Plus, our room featured a nifty alcove that allowed my wife and I to watch, heckle and ignore them from the comfort of a couch.
3. Key cards. You would think the “magic” of opening your room door with a card would wear off after awhile. But you would be mistaken.
4. The ice machine. Pro tip: Check your pockets for cubes before you check out.
5. The vending machine. The coin-op at school is full of Tofu Tubz and Kale Krunchies. The hotel machine? Not so much.

Likewise, a local overnight embraces the Top 5 Hotel Attributes Every Parent Loves:

1. Housekeeping.
2. A pool, a hot tub, and a sleeve of red cups.
3. A breakfast buffet. The Hilton Garden Inn’s was exceptional, what with the made-to-order omelettes and non-judgemental waffle policy.
4. Housekeeping.
5. Room service. Those red cups weren’t going to fill themselves, and “we” forgot a corkscrew. Thankfully, it was just a front-desk phone call away.

How much will an outing of this sort set you back? Compared to a week in Punta Cana — which starts at around $300 a night per person over Ontario March Break — the Hilton Garden Inn is $129 a night for the entire crew. Break up the week with a couple nights at a nearby airport hotel — it’ll be empty, as it’s probably in the deserted ‘burbs — and you can put the substantial savings toward a family vacation when you’re not being gouged.

Now if you'll excuse me, the keyboard is sticky and my waffle tower is getting cold...

I usually feel like a bit of a Johnny-come-lately when I discover a new Netflix series (despite the 85 emails). But with just 10 sleeps to go until Halloween, I couldn’t have timed my Stranger Things obsession better.

I’ve done the math: Five episodes remain in Season 1, plus an evening to prepare my costume, plus two evenings to help with my daughters’ costumes, plus candy shopping, plus the entire weekend to turn our front porch into the stuff of nightmares, plus more candy shopping, equals…well, the kids had better want to be ghosts this year.
My Halloween to-do list is almost as extensive as my Halloween bucket list, which grew even longer this week when Hotels.com emailed me its “10 travel experiences to confront your real fears.” (Too bad “Luposlipaphobia” isn’t included, as it’s one of my deepest, darkest fears.)

​Between Stranger Things and everything else, I can only dream of making an Oct. 31 pilgrimage to one of these phobia-related spots:

Fear of public speaking
What better way to get over glossophobia than by standing on Speaker’s Corner in London’s Hyde Park? Karl Marx, George Orwell and Marcus Garvey are just a few of the many orators who have given speeches in a spot that stands as a symbol of free speech.
 
Fear of Halloween
Seriously, samhainophobia is a real condition. It’s mostly experienced by young children who don’t understand that the ghosts, vampires and Donald Trumps wandering the streets on Oct. 31 aren’t real. If you’re a grownup who still has that fear, then you may be overwhelmed by Universal Orlando’s Halloween Horror Nights.
 
Fear of heights
A thrilling way to confront acrophobia is to ride the elevator to the observation deck of the CN Tower in Toronto. At 553 metres, it’s the tallest structure in the Western Hemisphere. If you really want to get over your fear of heights and get a shot of adrenaline at the same time, try the EdgeWalk, which will have you walking along the tower’s roof while safely tethered.
 
Fear of insects
Prevail over entomophobia by stuffing a few creepy crawlies into your mouth. In the night markets of Bangkok you can get a bag full of deep-fried and salted insects. Grasshoppers are a good choice, but crickets and silkworms are also on the menu.
 
Fear of the dark
Face a case of nyctophobia by dining in complete darkness in the Blindekuh restaurant in Zurich, where you can only use the senses of taste, touch and smell to enjoy your food. Conceived as a way for sighted people to experience a bit of the life of a blind person, these “dark dining” restaurants have popped up all over the world, including in Vancouver and Montreal.
 
Fear of dogs
Dogs may be man’s best friend, but they can also be fearsome creatures to cynophobes. This winter, try a dogsledding experience in Canada’s Yukon. There are plenty of tour operators that will fix you up with a team of yipping and barking dogs that will carry you across the frozen land.
 
Fear of snakes
If you’re going to confront ophidiophobia, do it in the Land Down Under, where it seems like every other creature is out to kill you. Near Sydney you can visit the Australian Reptile Park, where you can sign up for a VIP tour that allows you to see their animals up close.
 
Fear of flying
By the numbers, flying is a lot safer than driving in a car. To really confront aerophobia, do it in a plane with an open cockpit so you can feel the wind in your hair. One place to do that is at the Canada Aviation and Space Museum in Ottawa, where you can take a quick flight over the nation’s capital in a 1930s-era Waco biplane. 

Dear Ontario March Break,

We both know timing is not your strong suit. Every year, it seems, TV news anchors breathlessly report on the latest nor’easter trapping the huddled masses in airports across the province. 
This year, however, your partner in crime appears to be giving the masses a break. Mother Nature is delivering sunshine and balmy temperatures to the GTA all weekend (fingers crossed), which is much appreciated...under the circumstances.
What circumstances, you ask? Don't play dumb with me. We both know Daylight Savings Time starts on Sunday, meaning parents across Ontario will have one less hour of sleep just as you get going. But wait, there's more: St. Patrick's Day just happens to fall smack dab in the middle of the week, as it has more often than not since the Ministry of Education created you. Do the math: Thursday + green beer + kids at home = Friday from hell. Don't try blaming Father Time for this. Sometimes, Ontario March Break, you can be a real prick.
That's why I'm fighting back. In an effort to sidestep the aforementioned masses and meteorological mayhem, I took the brood skiing at B.C.'s Big White Ski Resort (pictured) nearly two weeks before your scheduled arrival. Naturally, our flight took off in the middle of a blizzard, but we made it to Kelowna with very little delay and ended up having a blast. Eight metres of snow + daily ski school + condo hot tub = ahhhh. Just so you know, I attribute much of our success to your absence.
I've also compiled lists of local diversions for the brood while you're in town. Face it: There's more than enough here and here to counteract your meltdown-inducing effects.  
To put it bluntly, your evil powers are on the wane. Next year, St. Paddy's Day is on a Friday. (High five, Father Time!) And who knows? Maybe Ontario will follow Saskatchewan's lead and ditch Daylight Savings Time (because it is idiotic). Plus, your arrival will coincide with L. Ron Hubbard's birthday, and you don't mess with Scientologists.
In short, I look forward to seeing the back of you next Friday. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

Sincerely,

Adam

I have nothing against golf. But if not for forced participation during stag-party weekends and the like I would never play again.

Why? Because disc golf is so much better. For the uninitiated, the sport is like regular golf, but instead of clubs and balls you whip Frisbee-like discs — weighted and contoured for curl and distance — and instead of holes there are metal baskets set on poles with hanging chains that absorb the impact of incoming projectiles. Touted as “the world’s fastest growing sport,” there are courses in hundreds of cities and towns in more than 40 countries around the world. In Canada, there are over 200. 

But how is it better than regular golf? Let us count the ways:

Golf: Rounds are expensive, and if they're not you get what you pay for.
Disc golf: Rounds are nearly always free.

Golf: The equipment is pricey and cumbersome. Without a car, it's pretty much impossible to get to a course.
Disc golf: A basic set of discs comprising putter, mid-range and driver costs as little as $30. The discs slide neatly into backpacks -- leaving plenty of room for refreshments -- and weigh considerably less than a six-pack (to use a random comparison).

Golf: Is time-consuming, especially when you live in a large city and most courses are located in the surrounding countryside. 
Disc golf: An 18-hole round takes about half as long as does regular golf, and I can bike to three different courses -- all free -- from my home.

Golf: Dress codes? Ugh...
Disc golf: Flip flops? Extremely tight jeans (pictured above)? Oversized foam cowboy hats? Sure!

Golf: Many courses are pleasing to the eye, but can't really be described as "natural."
Disc golf: Most layouts are inconspicuous and fit right into their lovely parkland settings. 

Golf: Your furry friend wants to join you? Forget it!
Disc golf: As long as Fluffy doesn't chase and chomp the discs, you can both get some exercise.

If you're heading to my adopted hometown any time soon, I can think of no better way to kick off your visit — or to diffuse the stress of a Bay St. boardroom — than with a round of disc golf on Ward’s Island. This is one of the world’s premier tracks, a 6,925-foot stretch of bucolic parkland with Lake Ontario to the south and prime views of the downtown Toronto skyline to the north. It hosted the Professional Disc Golf Association’s World Championships back in 1986 — six years after the course was established — and each July hosts the pro-am Toronto Island Open (with a purse of over $700. Almost enough for Leafs tickets!).

One of my favourite things about disc golf on Ward’s is that the course changes with the seasons. On gorgeous spring days like today, tulips burst from the wet earth and still-bare branches allow for pleasingly forgiving shots out of the rough. In summer, thick foliage makes for challenging drives, and in fall colourful leaves carpet the course, making wayward discs tricky to find. (NB: Do not go with yellow, orange or red gear at this time of year.) I’m keen to try courses outside Toronto, however, which is where the PDGA steps in with a handy on-line course directory. On my worldwide wish list, these three are at the top: 

De Laveaga Disc Golf Course, Santa Cruz, Calif.: As if this coastal Californian city isn't gorgeous enough, it’s also home to the "Dela," a world-renowned 27-hole course in the forested hills above town. Among the highlights is the precipitous 27th hole, aptly dubbed "Top of the World," which features a tee box that's nearly 600 feet from the pin and 100 feet above it. Each May Santa Cruz hosts the Masters Cup, with at least one round played at the Dela.

Jarva DiscGolf Park, Stockholm: Europe's first professionally-run course costs around $8 to play (for 27 holes), but by all accounts is worth every penny. There’s a pro shop/licensed café, and the "holes" run through a challenging, hilly landscape. The Stockholm Open has been played here for the past 17 years.

Wivenhoe Park, Colchester, UK: Site of the PDGA’s British Open on several occasions since 1983, Essex Disc Golf's 27-hole home base (pictured below) in the University of Essex's Wivenhoe Park is set on over 200 acres of parkland, much of it landscaped in the 18th century. 

That's right: I'm up for the "Travel Media Award" and the "Travel Blog Award" at the Ontario Tourism Marketing Partnership Corporation's Marketing Awards of Excellence (or the OTMPCMAE, which also means "hovercraft" in Welsh). The winners will be announced on Nov. 13 at a gala dinner in Toronto, which Rob Ford will hopefully emcee. The city's soon-to-be-former mayor is pictured reacting to news of my nominations.

There’s no need to panic if you forgot all about World Tourism Day. Unless, of course, your blender is kaput…

According to the UN World Tourism Organization, the purpose of tomorrow’s annual ode to travel “is to raise awareness on the role of tourism within the international community, and to demonstrate how it affects social, cultural, political and economic values worldwide, and to…”

Sounds like a thrill a minute, right? At least you know why you forgot about it.

In my neck of the urban jungle, these worthy-yet-tedious themes were given a shot in the arm earlier this week at G Adventures’ fourth-annual Future of Tourism event, which featured a lively panel discussion and presentation by the Toronto-based tour company’s energetic founder, Bruce Poon Tip.

The WTO, for its part, offers a list of “suggested WTD activities,” ranging from on-the-road electricity and water conservation efforts (viable on such short notice) to hosting special events like concerts and art exhibitions (maybe next year).

It’s all very earnest, in a United Nations sort of way, but at least the tips wrap up on an obvious note: “Take a trip.”

“Whether it’s around the world or within your own country,” the WTD website says, “read the Global Code of Ethics for Tourism before you go to make sure your trip is as sustainable and responsible as possible.”

So, if you don’t have the time or resources for a last-minute getaway, you can always celebrate WTD by breezing through eight pages of bureaucratic mumbo-jumbo.  

Another option, however, is to fake it. Here, then, are five ways to feel like you're exploring the globe without leaving your home base, or even your home:

1. Speak in a foreign language or with a foreign accent all day. I’ve always loved International Talk Like a Pirate Day, so this is really just another excuse to sound like I’ve suffered a brain injury.

2. Replace that TGIF beer with a TGIF blender drink (ideally served by a flying monkey). Speaking of brain injuries…

3. Use your passport as ID. Works great in combination with a North Korean accent.

4. Go out for an exotic meal. In Toronto, I recommend Mengrai Thai, which also offers Thai cooking classes.    

5. Visit a tourist attraction in your hometown. Does Honest Ed's sell miniature umbrellas? Two birds, one stone….

France’s A10 autoroute between Paris and Orleans reminds me of Highway 401 between Toronto and Kingston. Both are mostly flat and featureless, with anything that breaks the monotony coming as a welcome relief.

Along the 401, these breaks come in the form of the Big Apple, the verdant hills of Northumberland County, and CFB Trenton’s roadside fighter jet. Along the A10, meanwhile, there’s the largest wind farm in France.

Watching its towering turbines align ahead of me, their spinning white blades overlapping to dizzying effect, reminded me of two things: One, it's no longer surprising to see wind farms dot the landscape; and two, they really are quite beautiful.

A week later, standing atop England’s White Horse Hill, I had the same thought when I noticed a line of them dotting the horizon (pictured above...look closely!). (This, combined with the recent demise of nearby Didcot Power Station, can only be a positive sign when it comes to renewable energy.) Then there are the Ontario road trips I've taken over the past two summers — to Sauble Beach, Kingston, Ottawa and Windsor — which have led me past hundreds of the spinning turbines. The same goes for recent international forays through upstate New York, Costa Rica (pictured below) and Ireland.

Never has a wind farm struck me as ugly, or detracted from the natural beauty of its surroundings. Quite the opposite: They usually serve as eye-catching landmarks, especially since their locations — along the A10, for example — tend to be flat and fairly featureless.

Not everyone will share my views on wind farms' aesthetic appeal. A surprising amount of controversy surrounds these installations — centred on issues such as health and bird deaths — given that their purpose is to provide the renewable energy our planet obviously needs.

But controversy breeds curiosity, which must be part of the reason for the proliferation of wind-farm tours. Staff at the 86-turbine project on Wolfe Island near Kingston, for example, will show groups of 10 or more around (depending on availability), with a self-guided tour map available for smaller groups. In Michigan, home to 900-plus turbines, the town of Ludington runs $10 bus tours of the Lake Winds Energy Park in summer and fall.

In Prince Edward Island, the North Cape Wind Farm Gift Shop and Interpretive Centre attracts 60,000 visitors a year (according to its website), while Manitoba's St. Leon Interpretive Centre offers walking tours.

Then there's the Eye of the Wind turbine atop Grouse Mountain near Vancouver (pictured below), which lets visitors take in alpine views from a glass viewing pod just below its massive blades. It's even worth checking out the informative panels at the base of WindShare's 91-metre-tall turbine in Toronto's Exhibition Place, which was the first turbine installed in a major North American city centre when it went up in 2002.

So next time my eyes start glazing over as I speed down the 401, I’ll take a detour to Wolfe Island. And should my wind farm tour conclude with a couple scoops of “keylime blast” ice cream from Café Tenango, well, so be it…