To paraphrase Ween: “Take me away to some other land...I gotta get away from this cold before it drives me crazy…”

Just as many season-pushing Torontonians, myself included, began pronouncing winter to be over and done with, Environment Canada goes ahead and issues a “Special Weather Statement” for Hogtown. Serves us right, I suppose, given that it’s minus-19 in Regina right now.  

So let me make up for my annoying optimism by suggesting scores of places to get away from this and any other snowy blast (as well as plenty of spots where a snowy blast is a good thing).

WAIHEKE ISLAND, NEW ZEALAND
Just 35 minutes from Auckland by ferry, this compact island boasts an impressive array of sunny diversions. Emerald waters and sandy beaches blend beautifully with dozens of boutique wineries, fine restaurants, art galleries and craft studios, while walking trails wind through nature reserves and ziplines soar above it all.

CHECK OUT THE REST OF MY “20 UNDER-THE-RADAR PLACES TO CATCH SOME SUN” MSN GALLERY 

PROVIDENCIALES, TURKS AND CAICOS
This Caribbean archipelago’s most-visited island is home to Grace Bay, which is widely regarded as one of the world’s best beaches. There’s also a host of luxurious beachfront resorts, dozens of upscale restaurants and spas, and some of the region’s best snorkeling, scuba diving and deep-sea fishing.

CHECK OUT THE REST OF “50 BEST DESTINATIONS TO VISIT DURING THE WINTER”

ISLAMORADA, FLORIDA
This is a gorgeous 30-km stretch of keys named Plantation, Upper and Lower Matecumbe, Shell and Lignumvitae. It’s where mangrove gives way to beautiful ocean, and where much of the Bloodline TV series was shot. Indeed, the Moorings Village and Spa, a luxurious 7.3-hectare property, stood in as the Rayburns’ hotel.

CHECK OUT THE REST OF "20 HOT SPOTS IN FLORIDA TO ESCAPE WINTER”

​NOSARA, COSTA RICA
​Surf shops and yoga studios were imported to this pretty Guanacaste town by its large expat community, but the luxuriant vegetation and plentiful wildlife of the nearby refuge, as well as the three lovely beaches, all come courtesy of Mother Nature.

CHECK OUT THE REST OF "YES, YOU CAN TRAVEL TO THESE GORGEOUS BEACHES"

Who knew a slideshow could be so therapeutic? Last night's display on our living room TV helped ease my family's jet lag, as well as the shock of returning to snowy Toronto, with giddy reminiscences of our four weeks in New Zealand.

It also took me back to the slideshows of my childhood. My dad would deploy one of those tripod-mounted projection screens and, if I was lucky, I'd get to use the handheld "clicker" to advance the projector's carousel. Because they were near-weekly events, we saw the same photos over and over again, and we'd often spot details that were overlooked the first 17 times around: A picnic shot revealing a surreptitious cookie grab, a near-perfect family portrait in which yours truly was flying low.

These days,  new observations are even easier to make as we rename, sort, crop and share images. Indeed, upon further review of our time in the Land of the Long White Cloud...

...sometimes a stalagmite is just a stalagmite. (In the otherworldly Ngarua Caves south of Abel Tasman National Park.)

...all I need is some rope, a sturdy maple branch, and that meltwater-filled pothole in front of our house. (Just off the bucolic Rakaitane Track along the Arnold River near the lovely village of Moana.)

...isn't it amazing what you can do with Velcro? (En route to the Franz Josef Glacier in Westland Tai Poutini National Park.)

...I still don't know what the shepherd is doing here. Trying to sneak up on baby Jesus? Some kind of "Thriller" dance move? (Christmas Eve on the gorgeously deserted Anapai Bay Beach in Abel Tasman National Park.)

...if not for the signage I would have held an eel to my face as I would a newborn kitten. (At the wonderful Jester House Cafe near Nelson.)

...what a nice shot of my family on a bridge spanning Taupo's Huka Falls. The water is this incredible iridescent blue colour and...hold on a sec...what is that random guy doing?!? 

Phew, it's a perspective thing. I'm pretty sure he is neither groping nor pick-pocketing my wife. 

'Tis the season to be jolly, no doubt, but 'tis also the season for 2018 lookaheads: Bands to watch, TV to binge-watch, teams to wager on, presidents to impeach, you know the drill.

For my part, I've already contributed an MSN travel lookahead based on big-name events, globetrotter buzz, recent recognition and so on. But based on personal experience, here are my Top 18 recommendations for 2018: 

FONTEVRAUD L’HÔTEL, LOIRE VALLEY, FRANCE: I can think of no better place to savour the pungent aromas of a ridiculous cheese tray than this re-purposed abbey building. Read more here.

PARK CITY, UTAH: The ski area runs right into its historic namesake town, with a ski run and chairlift carrying schussers straight to Main Street. Down a side street there's some Plexiglas-covered Banksy graffiti, one of three works that appeared alongside the 2010 Sundance Film Fest premiere of the British street artist's compelling Exit Through the Gift Shop documentary. Read more here.

SEA TO SKY GONDOLA, B.C.: From the enormous sunset-facing patio, one of three panoramic viewing platforms, I gaze up at Sky Pilot Mountain’s horn-shaped peak as it tears clouds to shreds, while Howe Sound glitters in the forested fjord nearly a kilometre below. Read more here.

PALAFITOS AT EL DORADO MAROMA, PLAYA DEL CARMEN, MEXICO: Exhausted from celebrating a huge lottery win? These over-ocean glass-floored bungalows should do the trick. Read more here.

POWDER HIGHWAY, B.C.: Some of the best skiing on Earth meets jaw-dropping scenery, innovative food an drink, and welcoming mountain towns where the apres-ski scene eschews noisy Nickelback and Coors Light. Read more here and here.

LUANG PRABANG, LAOS: Standing on the balcony of the guesthouse, we watch as a line of Buddhist monks, dressed in orange robes, walk from house to house, collecting their sustenance for the day. With the sun rising above the hills and bird calls piercing the chilly air, it's an indelible image that clears our minds and fortifies our spirits. Read more here.

KINGSTON, ONT.: The dazzling Lumina Borealis multimedia installation in the Fort Henry National Historic Site celebrates the magic of winter, while tours of Kingston Penitentiary reveal beauty amid brutality. Read more here and here.

WICKER PARK AND BUCKTOWN, CHICAGO: These adjacent neighbourhoods already offered just about every urban amenity one could want – from vintage fashion boutiques and record shops to taco stands, cocktail bars and even a landscaped rail path – years before the Robey and Hollander hotels opened in late 2016. Read more here.

MOUNT NORQUAY VIA FERRATA, BANFF: From where I'm hanging, on a sheer cliff face some 700 metres above the Bow Valley floor, it's clear that my scaling skills are about to be tested like never before. Read more here.

NICOYA PENINSULA, COSTA RICA: Watch sea turtles lay hundreds of glistening eggs, high five Bruce Willis, it's all good. Read more here and here.

OLD MONTREAL: I grab a Moscow Mule from the buzzing bar and make my way out onto the enormous glass-walled outdoor patio to conclude the evening with head-spinning views of the glittering Montreal skyline. Then, in my mind’s ear, I hear it... Read more here.

NIMMO BAY, B.C.: Pink Floyd’s “Comfortably Numb” reverberates through my headset as our soundtrack-equipped helicopter soars over the bluest lake I've ever seen. At that moment, the lips in question belong to the awestruck passenger next to me. But it’s easy to see what she’s saying: “Wow!”​ Read more here.

COL DE LA JOUX VERTE, FRANCE: So this is what a 14-per-cent gradient feels like on a bike. Oh dear. If I can just focus on that pretty waterfall up ahead I’ll make it up this climb and…WHAT!?! That was the first of what I fear will be several switchbacks. And they’re getting steeper. Do they have Uber up here? Read more here.

SPORTFISHING IN LAKE ONTARIO: Lulls in the action are few and far between — we throw back more than we keep — and just as the sun is setting spectacularly behind the distant CN Tower we reach our 15-fish limit. Read more here.

THOMPSON-SHUSWAP WINERIES, B.C.: Having just arrived from winter-weary Toronto, I pull an abrupt double-take when three sleeveless Kamloopsians stroll into view in early April. They too seem surprised, but not by my woolly sweater. It’s my ride – Tastefull Excursions’ new wine-touring van – that turns their heads. Read more here.

VAGABOND HOTEL, MIAMI: I must have set some kind of land-speed record for hotel tours while researching my Globe Travel story on Miami Beach. Thing is, my personal favourite of the lot isn't actually in Miami Beach. Read more here.

PROVIDENTIALES, TURKS & CAICOS: There are few places on Earth where the "beach gravity" - the allure of sand and sea - is as inexorable as it is on Grace Bay. Read more here.

BIG WHITE SKI RESORT, B.C.: A decade after embarking on the first of umpteen family ski trips, arranging the "Door-to-Ski Shuttle Service" represents the pinnacle of my vacation-planning powers. Read more here.

Full disclosure: I'm trying to like Instagram. I have an account I use now and then, but as a travel writer I can't help but feel it undermines my chosen field. A click is a click is a click, I suppose, but when you get paid by the word the power of digital photography becomes highly disconcerting. Then again, 375 million active users can't be wrong, and many of the posts I come across are pretty damn cool. That must be why Instagram is making me feel so optimistic about my family's upcoming trip to New Zealand.  

With exactly one week till take off, I just stumbled upon New Zealand Tourism's "Top 10 Instagram spots in 2017." ​

Which ones are already on OUR itinerary?

Who can blame Paul Izdebski, co-owner of the Beer Bus, for looking ahead to his next guided tour of Simcoe Country’s breweries?

After all, he explains, he’s about to host a stag and a stagette party — at the same time. “Both groups know the other is on the tour, but they’ve never actually met,” he says, adding dryly: “It could be an interesting Friday night.”

It has already been an interesting Friday morning and afternoon with the three-month-old Beer Bus Co., a new arrival on the Toronto brewery tour scene and a key supporter of a new “Beer Around the Bay” tour that showcases five breweries clustered near the southern shores of Georgian Bay: Creemore Springs – Simcoe’s most famous brewing trailblazer – and pleasingly diverse craft players including Northwinds Brewhouse and Kitchen, The Collingwood Brewery, Side Launch Brewing Co. and Wasaga Beach Brewing Co. 

Northwinds is an ideal mood-setter and appetite-whetter for beer enthusiasts arriving in Collingwood after work or after dark. The 15-barrel brewhouse sells most of its wares in its lively brewpub and restaurant, where 16 taps pour pints and flights of everything from the Old Baldy Farmhouse Ale and Lost Cabin Vienna Lager to collaborations with other like-minded breweries. The cuisine is as spirited as the suds and the setting – think buffalo cauliflower tacos with lime guacamole and cactus pico. As at most of the Beer Around the Bay breweries, Northwinds’ finest can also be purchased at a retail counter.

After picking up guests at Collingwood accommodations, ranging from chain hotels and condo resorts to the lovely Bacchus House B&B, the Beer Bus sets off for the six-hour tour’s first stop. The morning mist still clings to the verdant fields as the shiny white shuttle rolls into Creemore Springs’ namesake town, where stylish boutiques and galleries lure the new arrivals away from the century-old former hardware store fronting the brewery. But the airy reception area and tasting bar soon regains their attention, as does a guided tour (pictured above) of a craft brewer that has gone on to much bigger, but identically unpasteurized and delicious, things.

A 30-minute drive north, Side Launch Brewing Co. embraces its lakeside location with a lake freighter logo and a name that references ship-launching in Collingwood’s shallow harbour. The no-nonsense operation follows the stringent Bavarian purity law of 1516 that limits beer to only four ingredients: Water, hops, yeast and malted barley. This straightforward approach is paying dividends, with Side Launch earning “Brewery of the Year” honours at the 2016 Canadian Brewing Awards. A few sips of its surprisingly light and lively Munich-style dark ale reveals that these kudos are well-deserved.

Despite soaking up beer samples with a lavish lunch at the Huron Club in downtown Collingwood, three afternoon options seem viable: Nap, nap, or seek a second wind. Thankfully, the latter is easy to come by in outdoorsy Simcoe County. While the Beer Bus takes a break in Wasaga Beach — the tours are highly customizable — Free Spirit Tours hosts an hour-long kayak excursion on the Nottawasaga River. Waterfowl, kingfishers and turtles abound as the boats cut through the gently rippling current, which is flanked by towering parabolic sand dunes formed by the glacial torrents of the most recent Ice Age.
​
READ THE REST OF THE STORY IN THE GLOBE AND MAIL

Travel elicits many emotions, from awe to anger and from upgrade ecstasy to gift-shop remorse. But over the course of my Canadian wanderings there’s something more: Pride. That's what this daily series is all about: Sharing my proud perspective on the places and experiences that make my country the greatest on Earth. Some of my selections are world-famous, others are little-known, a few are acquired tastes, and this one is once again home to some of the finest milkshakes on the planet.

As I approached the summit, one final hurdle lay ahead. It wasn't the steep, crumbling slope under my feet. Nor was it the blazing midday sun. No — as I climbed the dune in Eastern Ontario's Sandbanks Provincial Park, my greatest challenge was the all-dressed bacon cheeseburger, onion rings and chocolate milkshake I had just devoured outside the snack bar.

Just as mountaineers acclimatize to altitude, I stopped and waited for the grease rush to subside. Then, heartened by what awaited beyond the dune's 10-metre peak, I scrambled up the sandy mound, paperback in one hand, towel in the other.

I had seen the view from atop the dunes dozens of times before, either on a sand-seeking expedition out of Toronto, or on "Picton Day," the June exodus of class-cutting teens from my former hometown of Kingston. On this perfect summer Saturday, it encompassed blue skies, calm Lake Ontario waters and white sands framed by stands of eastern cottonwood trees, a picture that solidified Sandbanks as my favourite Canadian beach. The sand and scenery of some East and West Coast beaches may compare — PEI's Cavendish and Vancouver's English Bay spring to mind — but Sandbanks' summer is reliably hot and sunny, and the water is fresh, calm and surprisingly warm. If, like me, you often crave a splashy game of paddle ball — that free-form, co-ed pursuit of the Frisbee-fatigued — you'll only be up to your waist in water more than 100 metres offshore, owing to the three beaches' gentle, child-friendly slope out of East Lake (which is actually a bay).

Unlike much of surrounding Prince Edward County, which has seen a spate of development in recent years, little has changed at Sandbanks since I first arrived here in someone else's parent's minivan more than 25 years ago. The drive past the main entrance still winds pleasantly through thick maple forest. The aforementioned snack bar still serves up the thickest milkshakes around thanks to the staff's perennial lack of blender-awareness. And on a prime summer weekend, the park's Outlet, Sandbanks and Campers beaches are still busy, but not maddeningly so. After all, there's plenty of real estate: The 11 kilometres of beaches and dunes form two of the largest freshwater bay-mouth sandbars in the world.

Arriving at noon, it was easy to find a sunny spot devoid of errant Frisbees and sand-encrusted toddlers. Spreading out mats and towels, and unfolding lounge chairs — my wife Angela and I are confessed beach-accoutrement addicts — we settled into an afternoon of doing very, very little.
Once again, I noticed that time and sound perform strange tricks when one is prostrate on the beach. A lively conversation among a group of nearby teenagers — "Dude, man, my wakeboard is sick!" — soon became a melodious trickle interspersed with the noise of splashing kids and squawking gulls. This was followed by an irresistible snooze, a groggy awakening and feigned surprise that two hours had passed in what felt like five minutes.

Read the rest of the story in the Globe and Mail.

WHERE TO STAY
If camping or B&Bs aren't your thing, the TownePlace Suites Belleville is 45 minutes away by car and features suites with full kitchens, an indoor pool and hot tub, and free Wi-Fi and breakfast.

Hello, race fan(s), and welcome to Mostly Amazing's exclusive coverage of the National Family Vacation League's Myrtle Beach Triathlon! 

Next in the starting gate we have the Bisbys, who are taking part in the MBT for the first time. Veterans of the Big White Marathon, the Great Wolf Lodge Ultra-Marathon and the Disney World Ultra-Ultra-Marathon, this foursome is more than familiar with the funnel cake-fuelled highs and expired sunscreen-induced lows of the NFVL.
 
Today's swim leg consists of three elements: Wave Hurdles, the Lazy River, and the Hot Tub Time Trial. Conditions here on the Grand Strand, the 90-kilometre-long stretch of gorgeous white sand upon which Myrtle Beach sits, are ideal for today's competition: Winds are out of the southwest at 4 knots, humidity sits at a comfortable 48 per cent, and water temperatures range from 78 degrees F in the Atlantic to 101 degrees F in the hot tub. 

And they're off! All four Bisbys are charging toward the surf, which in Myrtle Beach is neither too large to intimidate youngsters nor too small to be dismissed as "sooooo lame." Dad clears the first breaker with ease, his legs churning, his arms windmilling, his board shorts struggling to stay in place. Two inches lower and that would be a major deduction! The two Bisby daughters dive in next and...wait for it...there it is: The trademark high-frequency scream that strikes fear into the hearts of NFVL athletes everywhere. Last but not least comes Mom, whose penchant for "easing in" is immediately shattered by a frothy rogue wave. We'll see that again on the highlights at 11!

They're all in the water now, and here come the scores: A 9.1 from the Norwegian judge, 8.4 from the Russian...yes, the Bisbys have to be pleased with a combined score of 8.7. (They must also be pleased with their ludicrously cheap Spirit Airlines direct flight out of Niagara Falls International Airport. $580 Canadian, round-trip, for a family of four? You're not in Canada anymore, Bisbys...)

Now they're out of the saltwater and sprinting, gazelle-like, toward the Lazy River in the Carolina Winds condo complex. These ring-shaped pools are everywhere around here; it's a good thing Team Bisby did their homework and picked one with plenty of fully-inflated inner-tubes and a steady current.

The kids are out in front as usual, with Mom a few tube-lengths behind and Dad bringing up the rear. He's really struggling back there with his undersized tube. All the girls have now completed the circuit and are waiting by the pool stairs. If Dad doesn't hurry his performance will surely be dubbed an "epic fail," but here he comes and, yes, he's out of the water after some heroic flailing. 

A hush falls over the crowd lining the pool deck as the squad approaches the hot tub. After spending exactly 7.42 hours on the beach yesterday, the same question is on everyone's lips: Did Team Bisby tan, or did they burn? 

Down the stairs they go! The sunscreen clearly missed a few spots, what with all the gritting of teeth in the hot, frothy water. But the Bisbys are nothing if not resilient, and in just a few more seconds Leg 1 of the Myrtle Beach Triathlon will be in the books. 

Five, four, three, two, one...and there you have it! Team Bisby is through to the second leg: The Putt.

​What's the worst day to have a birthday? According to a recent survey by Interflora, Dec. 16 is the absolute pits. (My daughter will disagree with these findings sooner or later, what with her Dec. 25 birthday and all.)

But what about Feb. 29? If we lived in a more chronologically strict society, Leap Day would be the worst birthday by far. But because it seems unfair to grant Leap Babies one birthday every four years, we acknowledge their arrivals on March 1 and move on. You’re welcome, “Leapies.”

This approach seems merciful enough, but there’s more: This 0.07 per cent of the population gets extra-special treatment where travel deals are concerned. For instance:

• At Jamaica’s luxurious Half Moon resort (pictured above), guests born on Feb. 29 who book a three-night minimum stay will receive a 29-cent (U.S.) stay for the night of Feb. 29 only in any room category, as well as a champagne dinner for two at the newly renovated Sugar Mill Restaurant. (If you're not a Leapie, the Snow.com 96-Hour Sale, which runs from Feb. 23 to 26, offers up to 25 per cent off suites and villas at Half Moon.)
• Washington, D.C.’s boutique Melrose Georgetown Hotel is offering a one-night “Forever Young” package. For $229 (U.S.), “Leapies” get deluxe accommodations and a birthday dinner for two with cake and champagne.

Let's not hold these perks against Leapies. After all, their good fortune is trickling down to the rest of us: 

• The Breezes Bahamas resort is offering 30- to 50-per-cent off select "Super-Inclusive" getaways throughout 2016, so long as you book by Feb. 29. Rates start at $119 (U.S.) a person per night, with complimentary room upgrade during select periods.
• Hawaii's Outrigger Waikiki Beach Resort is offering four nights for the price of three when staying through Feb. 29. This "Leap Year special" can be booked now through Feb. 14, 2016, with rates starting at $259 (U.S.) per night.
• Receive up to 50 per cent off lodging at Colorado's Vail ski resort -- including The Arrabelle at Vail Square, A RockResort; The Lodge at Vail, A RockResort; The Ritz-Carlton Residences, Vail; and Austria Haus -- if you book between Feb. 15 and 29 and stay between Feb. 15 and April 10. The aforementioned Snow.com 96-Hour Sale, meanwhile, knocks as much as 55 per cent off stays at Vail, Beaver Creek, Breckenridge, Keystone and Park City.
• B.C.'s Long Beach Lodge Resort is marking the occasion with a free night stay when you book a minimum three nights that include Monday, Feb. 29 and Tuesday, March 1.
• Book a stay at Utah's DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel Park City between Feb. 22 and 29, and receive a $29 (U.S.) discount each night.
• The Amara Cay Resort and Pelican Cove on Islamorada in the Florida Keys are both offering visitors a fourth night free when they book three nights, plus complimentary welcome cocktails. Available for weekday stays until Feb. 29.
• And just because I have a thing for Banff's Sunshine Village: The sublime Sunshine Mountain Lodge -- which I covered back when it opened in 2011 -- is now offering a "Ski Week" package that includes five days of unlimited skiing or riding; five nights of accommodation at Banff’s only ski-in, ski-out hotel; four days of two-hour ski lessons; and a host of nightly perks. Granted, this has nothing whatsoever to do with Leap Day, but starting at $995 (based on double occupancy) it is just too good of a deal to ignore. And it's available to 100-per-cent of us!

If we don't take a stand against the lack of milkshakes at Sandbanks Provincial Park, then who will?

Back in July of 2006, I wrote in Globe Travel that the snack bar at the sandy eastern Ontario preserve "serves up the thickest milkshakes around." Last week, I was looking forward to updating that assertion on a family camping trip.

I was happy to see that the ice cream counter was as amply stocked with local Reid's Dairy products as it was nearly a decade ago, before the generic eatery was reborn as Currah's Park Store & Grill. Various blending contraptions still lined one wall, with an extensive menu of flavours, sizes and variations looming behind the teenage servers. 

But I knew exactly what I wanted: "One chocolate milkshake, please."         

To which the bubbly counter staffer (let's call her Tracy) replied: "Sorry, we don't have milkshakes." 

I was aghast. "You don't have milkshakes?" 

Tracy shook her tanned, blonde head. "Nope." 

It didn't seem possible. "Do you have a blender?" I asked hopefully.

"I think so."

"Milk?"

"Yes."

"In that case, can you put some milk and two (read: five) scoops of chocolate ice cream in the blender?"

My request clearly flummoxed Tracy, who flashed her braces apologetically as she sought assistance from her absentee manager.

With a line-up quickly forming behind me, and not wanting to upset Tracy, I rescinded my request and went for a large cone instead. It was delicious, and to be clear, the cafe's milkshakelessness didn't stop me and mine from having a ball at Sandbanks. The campground, beach (pictured) and dunes, which comprise two of the largest freshwater bay-mouth sandbars in the world, are still top notch.   

But looking back, I should have pressed the issue. Milkshake omission, after all, is a slippery slope. What's next? No bacon on the quadruple cheeseburgers? Poutine with grated mozzarella instead of curd? This creeping evil must be stopped!

If you feel the same way I do, please email friends@friendsofsandbanks.org and politely demand that milkshakes return to the menu. (Not in a Daniel Day Lewis sort of way, because, you know, we can't actually drink their milkshakes at present.) And if you encounter another establishment that has removed milkshakes from its menu, please make the same demand, or at least share the information in the comments below. Together, we can make a difference. To paraphrase Winston Churchill, himself an obvious milkshake aficionado, "Never, never, never give up your milkshakes."